Planning for Inclusion: Preparing Your Child for Preschool or Primary School

Starting school is a significant milestone for any child. But for a child with an intellectual disability, this transition from the familiar environment of home to a preschool or primary school setting brings a unique set of challenges – and opportunities. With the right preparation, that leap can be made smoother, more confident, and more successful. Inclusive education research consistently shows that children with disabilities thrive when they participate in high-quality early childhood programs alongside their peers. But this doesn’t happen by accident – it requires deliberate planning, skill-building, and strong collaboration between families and schools, ideally well before the first day arrives.

Understanding the transition to school 🔗

Moving from home to school is not just a change of location. For any child, it means adapting to structured routines, longer hours away from parents or caregivers, new adults in positions of authority, and a room full of unfamiliar peers. For a child with an intellectual disability, these changes can feel even more abrupt and overwhelming.

The shift requires adjustment across multiple dimensions – emotional, social, and practical. A child who has been at home or in informal care must now follow a timetable, sit with a group, participate in activities on cue, and manage personal needs with greater independence. Research on children with developmental disabilities confirms that an unsuccessful transition – one where the child’s needs are not adequately supported – leads to increased stress and reduced continuity in learning and development. Conversely, when transition is planned proactively and collaboratively, children settle faster, form peer connections earlier, and make better academic and social progress.

This is why preparation for the school environment must begin at home and must start early – not a week before school starts, but several months in advance.

Developing essential readiness skills 🔗

Before a child can benefit fully from a school environment, there are certain foundational, or “readiness,” skills that directly affect their ability to participate and be comfortable throughout the school day. These are not academic skills – they are practical self-care and attention skills that form the bedrock of daily functioning in school.

Toilet training and personal hygiene 🔗

One of the most discussed and sometimes misunderstood aspects of school readiness is toileting. For children with intellectual disabilities, achieving independent toileting may take longer and require different methods. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, readiness for toilet training in children with developmental disabilities is determined by developmental milestones rather than chronological age, and these children may need specific methods and a longer timeframe to reach the goal.

Practically, this means parents should begin working on toileting skills well before school starts, using structured schedules, positive reinforcement, and step-by-step teaching rather than expecting the full chain of behaviours at once. Readiness indicators include the ability to stay dry for one to two hours, showing awareness of the need to use the toilet, and the ability to communicate that need – whether through words, signs, or pictures.

Importantly, if a child is not yet fully toilet trained by school entry, this should not be a barrier to inclusion. Teachers must be informed in advance about the child’s toileting status and any adaptive aids – such as diapers, training pants, or a scheduled toileting routine – so they can accommodate the child’s needs with dignity and without disruption to the school day. The responsibility of being “ready” lies not only with the child, but with the school environment being prepared to support the child.

Self-feeding and mealtime independence 🔗

Schools typically have set snack or lunch times, and a child who cannot manage even basic self-feeding may struggle to participate meaningfully or may feel embarrassed. Working on self-feeding at home – whether using standard cutlery, adaptive utensils, or finger foods – gives the child a skill they will use every single day at school. The goal is not perfection, but functional independence appropriate to the child’s level.

Parents should also communicate clearly with school staff about any dietary requirements, food textures the child can manage, or allergies, so teachers are prepared to support the child at mealtimes without guesswork.

Building attention span and following instructions 🔗

Preschool and primary school activities require children to sit, attend, and follow simple group instructions for increasing periods of time. For a child with an intellectual disability, this can be one of the more challenging aspects of school life. Teachers can support students with intellectual disabilities by breaking down instructions into simple, manageable steps – but a child who has already practised listening and following two-step directions at home will find this adjustment far less jarring.

At home, parents can build attention span gradually: through short structured activities like puzzles, simple games, or story time, slowly extending the duration as the child’s tolerance grows. Practising turn-taking and waiting – through board games or group play – also builds the social patience that school requires.

Fostering socially acceptable behaviour 🔗

A child’s acceptance by teachers and peers in a school setting depends significantly on their ability to behave in ways that are considered socially appropriate – not just academically capable. This is especially true in inclusive classrooms, where positive peer relationships are part of the educational benefit.

Children with intellectual disabilities often face challenges with social skills, which can make it harder for them to interact appropriately with peers and become involved in the social life of the classroom. Some children may also display behaviours – such as hitting, biting, screaming, or grabbing – that, while understandable given their developmental profile, can alienate peers and concern teachers if not addressed before school entry.

Preparing a child socially involves actively teaching and practising replacement behaviours. This means helping the child learn how to:

• Greet others and take turns in conversation
• Express frustration or a desire in a socially appropriate way (using words, gestures, or an AAC device rather than hitting or screaming)
• Respond to “no” without a major meltdown
• Wait in a queue or for their turn in a group activity
• Follow basic classroom rules like sitting during circle time or raising a hand

These skills don’t emerge overnight. They require consistent modelling, patient practice, and positive reinforcement over weeks and months. The earlier this work begins, the more naturally these behaviours become part of the child’s repertoire. A child who enters the classroom with even a basic set of pro-social skills is far more likely to be welcomed and included by peers – and to enjoy school as a result.

The crucial role of parent-school collaboration 🔗

No matter how well a child is prepared at home, a successful school transition also depends on what happens on the school side. Research consistently shows that supporting children with disabilities through school transitions is an ongoing process that requires collaboration and support – beginning while the child is still in preschool, continuing as they enter the new setting, and extending through the first several weeks of the new school year.

For this collaboration to be effective, it must begin early – ideally at least three months before the child’s start date. Leaving this communication until the week before school is simply not enough time for schools to make meaningful accommodations.

Visiting the school before the first day 🔗

One of the most practical and impactful steps a family can take is to visit the school multiple times before the child begins. Best practice models for transitioning children with disabilities suggest that schools should invite parents to observe classes and meet teachers, related service staff, and school leadership during the term before enrolment. Equally, school staff should visit the child’s current setting to understand how the child functions in a group, what routines they respond to, and what support strategies already work.

These visits serve multiple purposes. They help the child become familiar with the physical environment, the sounds, the smells, and the faces they’ll encounter – reducing the shock of the unfamiliar on day one. They also allow parents to share detailed, child-specific knowledge with the receiving teachers: what motivates their child, what tends to trigger difficult behaviour, what communication system the child uses, and what has worked at home or in therapy settings.

Sharing information and discussing specific arrangements 🔗

A successful transition is one where parents serve as both advocates and experts in their child’s interests, and where provisions are made for appropriate support in terms of planning, practice, and policy. This means parents should not wait to be asked – they should proactively share relevant information about the child’s disability, daily needs, communication style, dietary requirements, and any adaptive equipment they use.

Teachers, in turn, should be briefed not just on the child’s diagnosis but on the individual child – their strengths, their triggers, their preferred activities, and their current level of functioning. An IEP (Individualised Education Plan) or equivalent planning document should ideally be in place before the child starts, with input from both the family and the receiving school. Effective collaboration among all parties – families, sending programmes, and receiving schools – is essential for a seamless transition.

Maintaining communication after school starts 🔗

Transition doesn’t end on the first day of school. Parents and teachers need a reliable channel of ongoing communication – a daily home-school diary, regular brief meetings, or a messaging system – so that issues can be caught and addressed quickly. A communication plan established between parents and teachers before the school year begins ensures that both parties can modify the transition plan as needed and work together to support the child’s adjustment.

This ongoing partnership is not just good practice – it is what makes the difference between a child who struggles through the first term in silence and one whose needs are identified and met in real time.

What schools and teachers need to know 🔗

The responsibility for a successful inclusive transition does not rest solely with the child or the family. Schools and teachers play an equally critical role. Parents are important partners in facilitating their children’s overall development and are the most knowledgeable source of information about their child’s skills, abilities, and needs. Teachers who recognise this and actively draw on that knowledge will be far better equipped to support the child from day one.

Practically, this means teachers should:

• Learn about the child’s disability and what it means for daily classroom functioning – not just in a general sense, but for this specific child
• Be briefed on any adaptive aids, communication devices, or physical supports the child uses
• Know the child’s toileting status and have a plan in place
• Have strategies ready for managing difficult behaviour calmly and consistently
• Create a physically and socially welcoming classroom environment that sets the child up for peer inclusion from the start

Early intervention and well-structured classroom accommodations can make a significant difference for students with intellectual disabilities – removing barriers to participation and helping the child engage meaningfully in the school day. Inclusion, when done well, benefits not only the child with a disability but the entire classroom community.

A shared responsibility, a shared reward 🔗

Preparing a child with an intellectual disability for school is not a checklist to be completed and filed away. It is a sustained, collaborative effort between families and schools – built on honest communication, realistic goal-setting, and mutual respect. When both sides invest in this preparation seriously, the child enters school not as an outsider finding their feet, but as a member of the community who belongs there.

The skills a child develops in the months leading up to school – in toileting, self-care, social behaviour, and attention – are the foundations on which their entire educational experience will be built. And the relationships that parents and teachers forge before the first day of school are the structures that will hold those foundations steady.

What do you think? If you are a parent preparing your child for school entry, which of these readiness areas do you find most challenging to address at home – and what has worked for your child so far? And if you’re a teacher or early childhood educator, how early do you typically begin the transition conversation with families of children with disabilities?

References

1. https://sites.ed.gov/idea/idea-files/policy-statement-inclusion-of-children-with-disabilities-in-early-childhood-programs/
2. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/20473869.2025.2541231
3. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/toilet-training/Pages/toilet-training-children-with-special-needs.aspx
4. https://ospi.k12.wa.us/sites/default/files/2024-11/guidelinesfortoilettrainingandincontinencemanagementinschools.pdf
5. https://epicspecialeducationstaffing.com/strategies-teaching-students-intellectual-disabilities/
6. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8355569/
7. https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/learning-disabilities/articles/paving-way-kindergarten-young-children-disabilities
8. https://wso2-gateway.tnedu.gov/tn-tan/1.0/sites/default/files/tn-tan/documents/2025-01/(2_25)%20February%20Resource%20on%20Best%20Practices%20in%20Preschool%20Special%20Education%20Transitions.pdf
9. https://iris.peabody.vanderbilt.edu/module/dll/cresource/q2/p04/
10. https://lifeworksschools.com/blog/educating-children-with-intellectual-disabilities/